I just forgot

So I had this inspirational thought, but I am moving tomorrow, and decided to throw the microwave away and totally forgot the thought that I had. Please excuse me, I’m a little drunk for the first time in two weeks. Might not sound impressive, but it is. I am just so excited to move to a place that could be the right size for once, it’s been years. For almost 3 years, my wife, myself, and two kids lived in a one bedroom. And we were still poor as hell, and to top it all off, our then 5 year old son got cancer. It took a month in the hospital, and a couple surgeries to figure out what it was. When Givin the news, my brain went in to full schizophrenic mode. I blacked out for days at a time for a few weeks.

I finally found myself at a gas station returning the many missed calls I had recieved from my mom. I had no idea how I had got there, I just knew that I was the driver, which scared me even more. Anyway, my son getting leukemia was to this day, the scariest thing ever. The doctors were excited because it has such a high success rate. Oh yay! It’s a well known form of cancer….

What the doctors seem to forget is the constant doctor appointments, the chemo that is so intense at first. The side affects are crazy. They don’t realize that because they told us a fever could be lethal if it goes over 100.1 and stays there for an hour, we drove an hour away to go to primary childrens hospital(honestly an amazing hospital) then not to mention that he can’t fight off any sickness because his blood counts are low. The doctors forget the 14 hour days of blood transfusions and chemo. The weekly at home nurse checking on him in our 1 bedroom apartment. They don’t mention the constant spinal taps to infuse chemo in his spinal fluid and some other stuff, but the worry that maybe this time the anesthesia won’t sit well with him. I could go on about the absolute shit we went through for a few years…

To sum it up, we were beyond careful. We were wearing masks well before the pandemic. We had to go to the hospital quite a bit for fevers, but he always made it through, and otherwise didn’t get sick… now today he is in remission and appointments are every few months and will always be a thing, his blood count is the same as any other 8 year old, he’s going to actual school for the first time and he’s in third grade. And as shut off from the world he was with cancer, he is being social a bit at a time and making friends. You have no idea how happy this makes me. He remains the sweetest and most obedient kid I’ve ever met(opposite of his sister) and has already been to hell at such a young age, he’s now becoming a normal kid. I am grateful. I sometimes can’t believe it. Kids are so damn strong. Well, I just went on another rant, I hope it gives you strength, perseverance, and maybe a little hope.

Published by The Lost Girl

Hi, my name is Elsie. My struggles with mental health, sexuality, transitioning, and alcohol are very real. I just wanted to share just in case what I have to say can help someone. Love you all

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